


Clouds

by FourFaces



Series: Clouds AU [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, F/M, I'm so sorry, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-05 00:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5354684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FourFaces/pseuds/FourFaces
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tragic story that is very canon divergent (Catch and Release never happened). Steven never wants to leave Connie. Major Character Deaths. Shorter chapters. Feel free to review. Rated T to be safe. I am so sorry.</p><p>Cross-posted on Fanfiction.net.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Denial

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! This is a short story, totally different from my last one. This one is very canon divergent. Catch and Release and the subsequent episodes did not happen.
> 
> This one is based on an idea my husband and I were talking about and I needed to write this one out. Warning, this will get extremely depressing. I am so, so sorry. Alternate title might as well be "Kübler-Ross". This will be a much shorter story and will most likely have shorter chapters. This first chapter is pretty short, but I couldn't write too much without giving too much away.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -FourFaces

Steven and Connie sat side by side on the beach watching the pink glow of the sky. Steven was so happy to just have her there by his side. He wanted this moment to last forever.

Connie had been reading while Steven had skipped rocks out into the ocean, but her book was now next to her, bookmark in place, as she rested her head on his shoulder. Steven felt her sigh and smiled, leaning his head against hers.

"This is wonderful," he whispered. "I don't want today to end."

Connie smiled. "It doesn't have to, Steven. It can keep going on and on."

Steven laughed and wrapped an arm around her. He gently placed a kiss on the top of her head before looking back out at the horizon. The two teens sat in silence, Steven not wanting to say anything to disturb the moment.

She had looked so pretty in the rosy-pink sundress that she wore to meet him. He thought she was radiant and had frolicked on the sand with her for much of the morning, marveling at how she seemed to float above the sand.

She grabbed his free hand with a light touch and smiled, looking into his eyes. He smiled and pressed his forehead against hers.

"You don't have to leave, do you?" She asked.

"No. I can stay here with you," he smiled.

She leaned up and kissed him, gently. Her lips were a feather soft touch against his.

He was glad that they were alone. If any of the gems had seen, they would have been upset. Connie's parents? Absolutely mortified.

This was their secret spot, and he was happy to have this spot to share with her and only her. He could escape from the thought of battles, of pain, of uncertainty and just be here with Connie.

He wanted this to last forever … and maybe now it could.

Outside of Rose's Room, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl waited. The funeral was in an hour and even though the Mahaswarens had said that he didn't need to come if he wasn't able to handle it, they thought it would be important for him. There would be no viewing (there was not much left to bury), but hopefully being there would help him.

Garnet raised her hand to knock on the door, but she knew what she would find if it opened. She hesitated and pulled back. He would come out on his own time.


	2. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Peridot. We find out what happened to Connie and Steven and Pearl are very, very angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the Comments and Kudos on this one! There's still some more storm before the calm here. Enter Peridot as well as Cloud Connie being Cloud Connie.
> 
> This chapter ended up a lot longer than I meant for it to and might be more ... upsetting? I'm trying hard not to get too graphic with the description of what happened to Connie, but be warned, it's probably upsetting.
> 
> I recently had a severe knee injury and I'm trying not to let the stress of everything that has been happening leak into my writing, but no promises here.
> 
> I'll try to update Where Do I Go From Here this week as well!
> 
> Feel free to comment and I am still so very, very sorry.
> 
> -FourFaces

Garnet had attended the funeral, barely holding herself together the entire time. She sat in the back, watching as the human attendees walked up to Connie's closed casket. She could feel her heart break, watching Priyanka and Doug as they sat near the casket. She would have to talk to them soon, and she was not ready. She never would be. How could she bear to tell them why Steven was not there? How could she look them in the eye again, already having been the one to deliver Connie's remains with the news of her heroic but unnecessary death.

She shuddered, nearly popping apart, and then looked back up to see most of the mourners leaving. There were a few teens who she had never met that must have been people that went to school with Connie. She pressed onward to Priyanka and Doug. They saw her and Priyanka immediately embraced her.

"Is Steven with you, then?" She asked.

"No. He is … not well. He has not left his mother's room since that night. I'm not sure what is happening in there but ..."

"Was he aware when it happened?" Doug asked.

"Not completely ..." Garnet whispered, remembering.

_Peridot had been much more brazen this time, having appeared on the beach with some sort of drill. No one had asked questions, fearing that Peridot was going to try to destroy the temple for some reason, possibly to unleash havoc by releasing the gems in the burning room. Connie had been with Steven that day. Pearl had been training her since her 11_ _th_ _birthday and had finally stated she was ready for true combat a year ago. Connie had some close calls, but she was resilient and eager to prove herself._

_Garnet knew that there was a chance this could go horribly wrong and had tried to keep her from joining the battle. Of course, she could not be deterred, so there she was._

_When Steven had been knocked down by one of Peridot's attempts at a new drone, Connie immediately went into action. Connie had run in front of the drill that Peridot was piloting as it spun towards Steven. Garnet did not see the actual moment of Connie's dismembering, but she heard the shriek and saw the blood._

_When she approached the site, Peridot had been thrown from the drill and poofed. Steven was unscathed, physically, but was staring, wide-eyed, at -_

Ruby looked up to see Priyanka staring down at her. She looked over to see Sapphire, curled in on herself. They must have split apart at the memory. Priyanka held out her arms and pulled Ruby in close as the red gem sobbed.

Pearl had grabbed Peridot's bubble from the Burning Room and was transporting it up the veins of the Crystal Heart. She had enough of waiting and was going to give Steven his justice.

She was so angry that the gem had evaded capture for so long. That she had almost led to tearing apart the team. She was seeing red at the thought that she had done this to Steven. He had not left the room since Amethyst carried him back to the temple (they felt it was a good idea to keep him from seeing Garnet take Connie's remains away), and he needed to come out soon. If not to face the world again, then he needed to come out to eat.

But she had a feeling that allowing him to take his revenge on the gem that killed Connie might help.

She arrived in the room and popped the bubble. Peridot's gem glowed and soon the gem was reforming. Pearl grabbed her arms as soon as she could, restraining her.

"Get out of the way you cl-" She soon realized she was being restrained. Memories flooded back to her. The Steven in front of the drill. Trying to evade him. The human girl pushing him out of the way. The blood … "Wait! I can explain! I was just -"

Peridot stopped struggling and looked around. She could see the pink fluffy clouds and wondered where she was. She looked back to see her captor, the Pearl that belonged to the Crystal Gems.

"Where have you taken me?" She asked.

"You're going to face your end soon, Peridot. I wanted you to see what you have done to us -"

Giggling echoed through the room. Pearl paused and looked out. She could see a recreation of the beach and she paled.

"Oh no ..." She whispered, hearing another giggle that should not have been possible.

She dragged Peridot with her and saw Steven on his back. Next to him was -

"Connie?" Pearl gasped. "Oh Steven … no ..."

She had seen Rose do this once, after the war. She should have known that this could happen when Steven had retreated into her room. She remembered watching Rose talking with friends who had since been corrupted, killed, or shattered. Human and Gem. She had not had the courage back then to do anything. Garnet had to be the one to take her out of the room, kicking and screaming, holding her in the Burning Room.

She had eventually recovered, but it had taken hundreds of years.

Pearl knew they didn't have that long with Steven.

"What is your problem?" Peridot asked shakily, shattering Pearl's silence. "The human is fine, as is the Steven! See? She's right there!"

Pearl dropped the stunned Peridot and ran to Steven and his cloud version of Connie.

"No … No, no, no!" She cried out, distracting Steven momentarily.

He knew what was going to happen. Pearl hated it when he was in Rose's room. He needed to reason with her, to tell her how much better things were in here.

"See, Pearl? She's all better in here! I don't have to ever leave her and she won't leave me," he quickly exclaimed.

He didn't notice the look on his Cloud Connie's face as she looked at Pearl. Pearl instantly knew the look. While Rose's room was under the command of the Rose Quartz gem, the safety of the bearer of it was the utmost importance. Physical, emotional, and mental.

"Steven ..." Cloud Connie started. The fun was over. It needed to be.

Before she could say anything, Steven had been picked up by the slender gem, carried away screaming, cursing, and crying. She watched and prepared to disappear.

"Why is he upset? You're alive! You weren't as injured as I thought you were," she heard Peridot state.

_Oh right, she's still here._

"I'm not alive. I am a construct of the room," Cloud Connie explained. "I can only disappear if Steven asks me to. I am based on his memories of Connie, much like any other constructs in this room. We are all memories."

Peridot felt something inside of her. Something she did not enjoy.

"So … the real human is -?"

"Dead. Dismembered by your drill. Steven had almost recreated that memory when he first asked for me in here. He asked for how he last remembered me. But thankfully, because of an incident in here when Connie and Steven were younger, I am allowed a small amount of free will. I was able to reform how he wanted to remember me."

Peridot sat down.

"Can you let me out then?"

"No. Only Steven can. Or one of the gems if they come through the back entrance. But you really don't want that."

Cloud Connie sat down and stared where the door would materialize.

"Pearl was going to have Steven kill me."

"Most likely. However, I don't think Steven would do it. He's a lot like his mother that way. He believed you could be reasoned with. He told me that a lot. He wants to believe you didn't mean to kill her."

"I-I didn't! I swear! I didn't even want to kill him! I'm just trying to stop -"

Peridot's mouth snapped shut. Cloud Connie turned to her.

"Stop what?"

"Nothing!"

"If it is pertinent to the protection of Steven, then I must know."

Peridot sighed and buried her head in her hands. She didn't want to involve the traitors in this, but she had no other choice. Perhaps it would keep her alive a little longer.

Steven cursed and railed against the gems, straining against the restraints. They didn't understand! They never would! He loved her and now he could have her forever! Death was no longer an issue. She acted enough like Connie that it was OK.

He hated the Crystal Gems right now for taking her away from him. For allowing this to happen in the first place. Why didn't they lock her in the house? Then she never would have been dismembered by the drill and they would be happy. He probably would have survived anyway! He had a shield and he was a gem! He could have just regenerated and been fine! At least, he assumed he could. He wasn't sure how it worked because he was only half gem.

It was Connie's fault that this happened. If she hadn't thrown her life away then they could be laying on the bed right now watching Under the Knife (he would never be able to watch it again now – That was their show together). Why did she still have to think that she was worthless compared to him? She was worth the universe to him and now she was gone forever. His last memory of her being …

He cried out, straining against the restraints again. He couldn't ever hate her or the gems. They were trying to save him. Trying to keep him safe. He hadn't eaten in the time he had been in the room and he was hungry, even if he couldn't think about food right now.

He knew who to blame, anyway. Peridot had evaded capture for so long and when they finally find her, she kills his first (and most likely only) love. He could not find a way to forgive her anymore, now that he was banned from seeing his Cloud Connie. He at least had her to comfort him and act almost like the real Connie.

He wondered what he would do if he saw the green gem again. He knew that they had her prisoner and he hadn't seen what Pearl had done after tying him up. Perhaps she went back in and poofed and bubbled her. He had forgotten about the back way into Rose's room, through the veins of the crystal heart. He almost didn't care about Peridot anymore. He had wanted her to learn to love the Earth, but now there wasn't much on the Earth that Steven cared about.

Other than his dad, who had not learned of this yet. He would find out soon and then Steven would have to explain to him about the incident with the room. Then there was Sadie and Lars (who had matured a lot in the last few years). They probably wondered why Steven hadn't been to the Big Donut lately. And Mr. Smiley. And Onion …

Steven banged the back of his head on his headboard out of frustration. He felt something land on his face. Craning his neck up to push it to where he could see it, he froze. The picture of Connie that he had kept there for years. She had playfully joked about it once, before they had started to pursue a more romantic relationship, but immediately followed it up with how sweet it was. He later learned, when he had sneaked into her room one night when her parents weren't home, that she still had the drawing he had made of Lisa and Archamicharus.

Tears began to flow freely. He soon heard the Temple Door open, followed by footsteps.

He felt the bed shift from someone sitting on the bed and felt the warm touch of Garnet's hand on his cheek.

"It's alright Steven … I understand. We'll be here for whatever you need."

Steven pressed his cheek into her hand. It would be a long road, but maybe he would get better.


	3. Bargaining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bargaining might not be a bad idea for one gem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time, no post! This chapter gave me a ton of grief!
> 
> Thank you all for the reviews!
> 
> For my Peridot fan readers, have no fear! She is on the road to redemption in this fic. It's just not going to be easy (she's one of my favorites and no matter what, I can't let her be completely on Homeworld's side for long).
> 
> I also wanted to link you all to an awesome art piece based on this fic by Stevenquartz on Tumblr! This seriously made my day when I saw it! http://stevenuniverse.ml/post/135145351293/based-on-the-fanfic-clouds-%CA%96
> 
> This chapter has some more angst and is leading up to the bargaining that will have to occur between a few characters. Next one will be pretty bad before everything looks up ... just a warning there (and it's been taking all of my willpower to NOT write what exactly happened to Connie, even though that's my forte, because the rating will jump).  
> But things will get better. I promise xD
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment!  
> -FourFaces

It was a week before anyone entered the room again.

Garnet had effectively banned Pearl and Steven from entering the room (and Amethyst begrudgingly helped enforce it). Amethyst kept the main temple door guarded from Steven while Garnet stood watch in the Crystal Heart. She knew what Pearl had tried to do and had immediately admonished her for it. She could sense that they could not shatter the gem. Not yet.

She had chased Pearl out of the chamber five times in the first day, and only once each day after that. The fusion was resolute in her decision to not allow entrance to anyone.

Amethyst had nearly crumbled after Steven was let out of his restraints and immediately ran back to the door crying out Connie's name. Amethyst held onto him tightly, even though she was now shorter than the teen. She waited until he calmed down, allowing him to fall to his knees and curl up on the floor.

"You didn't see it happen!" He cried out. "You have no idea! I don't want that to be my last memory of her! If I'm in there, then it won't be!"

Amethyst stared at Steven. It was true. Garnet didn't even let Pearl or Amethyst really see Connie, shielding whatever was left of her from view while telling them to take Steven. She had seen the blood and, after turning around one final time, saw Connie's limp arm hanging from Garnet's protective embrace. She knew, then, that Connie had to be gone. She was glad that she hadn't seen any more than that.

Steven had railed against her then, after the initial shock wore off, saying he could heal her if they just let him go. Pearl had simply grabbed onto him tighter before they got Steven into the Beach House.

Amethyst realized she had lost focus and saw Steven attempting to open the door to Rose's room. She grabbed him and carried him back up the stairs, restraining him once more.

It had been an exhausting week before Garnet finally allowed herself to climb up the vein of he Crystal Heart that led to Rose's room. She wasn't sure what she would find in there, but she was unprepared for the sight she saw.

Peridot had sat for three of the first days in the week trying to get the Cloud Connie to speak with her again. After the description of the Cluster, the construct had fallen silent, sitting on the false beach, staring out at the clouds. By day four, Peridot was almost hoarse from yelling at the construct. She wanted a reaction, any reaction, at this point. She should have been gloating over the gem, that she had her trapped. She could have bragged to her that Steven would destroy her still, after they eventually attempted to stop the cluster.

The construct just stayed silent.

By day six, Peridot was losing hope at ever hearing anything from the construct again. She began to resign herself to the fact that she was going to die.

"Look," she began at the start of he seventh day, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do this to you. Or her. Whatever. I tried to call out and warn you. I didn't want to kill anyone. I just didn't want to die. But ... it looks like that's going to happen anyway."

Peridot sat next to the construct and sighed.

"If I'm going to die, then let it happen. I just wanted to go home ..."

"She knew about the experiment," the construct stated simply.

Peridot stared at her.

"She didn't want it to go forward after she started the rebellion ... but we needed a super weapon. And it wasn't supposed to be so big ..."

The green gem had heard that this was an ancient experiment. Something that was meant to destroy a planet. She had never asked for the history behind the experiments. Only the notes.

"Do the other gems know?"

"No ... Rose never would have told them. She thought that she had stopped the experiment soon enough, regardless. That nothing would have happened and they never would have found out. Obviously, she was wrong."

Peridot sat in silence for a long period of time again.

"So ... when I tell the Crystal Gems, they won't know anything about this. They have no idea this even exists. You were all going to just die without warning when the planet cracked open."

"Yes."

"Do you think .... What would they do if I told them that the Earth was doomed? If I told them the truth? Maybe they would spare me?"

Cloud Connie smirked.

"I'm not the one with Future Vision. I can't tell you how they would react. I'm just a construct of the room. The other gems were rarely allowed in here. I have no idea how they would feel. For all you know, they may just think you are lying to save yourself."

She was right. Peridot knew that she was definitely not trustworthy to the gems. She had killed one of their allies. There was no way she would survive this, no matter what she did.

The green gem curled up on the ground and wept.

"I'm going to die! I'm going to die, no matter what I do!"

Cloud Connie looked past her to see Garnet's head poking out of the cloudy floor, mouth agape.

Pearl sat in her room, beginning another projection from her gem. She watched as Connie fought, swinging Rose's sword at each Holopearl that attacked. A graceful dodge here, a successful block ... Connie had been an amazing student. She had been an amazing friend to Steven.

And she was gone.

She was angry at Garnet for not letting her take out her anger on the gem that caused this. She had pleaded with her to let her into the room, to just talk with the gem. Of course, she couldn't be held responsible if something happened to the gem.

Garnet had just stoically folded her arms and ignored her pleas.

"Um, P?" Amethyst whispered.

"What?"

"Garnet needs to talk with both of us ... It's about Peridot. And it's important."

Steven had been let out of his retraints to eat after promising Amethyst he wouldn't make a run for the door. He sat on the bed, poking at his bowl of instant macaroni and cheese. He wasn't really hungry, but he knew he needed to eat. He had avoided sleep for the last few nights, his mind constantly replaying Connie's last moments. He just wanted one more day with her. He would be happy if he just had that.

He could hear the Temple Door open and close. Then silence.

He waited for several minutes.

Then he made his move.

Steven stood in front of the temple door. There was a chance that everyone was in Rose's Room. That he would be ushered out the moment he went in.

There was also a chance that they would have convened somewhere else.

He lifted his nightshirt, allowing his gem to glow.

The door to the room opened.


	4. Depression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aptly named chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We're almost done with the angstiest fic I've done in a long time.
> 
> Warning for a description of Connie's demise. I tried to keep it toned down enough to keep this fic rated T. The next chapter will be the last one. I always meant for this fic to only have 5 chapters. I probably won't do a follow up either for this one since this was meant to be a short fic (unlike my other main one).
> 
> I'll try to get the other story (the drabble series) posted tomorrow for some fluff. There is not much fluff here until the next chapter (and then it will only be bittersweet). I want to get that chapter up before StevenBomb 4, but we'll see!
> 
> Thank you for the reviews! Feel free to leave some and let me know what you like or don't like (constructively!).
> 
> -FourFaces

He wasn't prepared for her sad expression when he entered Rose's Room.

Cloud Connie knew he would probably try to come in as soon as the gems left with Peridot. She didn't want to believe it, but Steven would come right back in and try to stay with her.

This wouldn't have been what Rose Quartz had wanted.

This definitely would not have been what Connie would have wanted.

She had been in contact with the real Connie one other time. The human had retreated in here with Steven a year after the "Unfamiliar Familiar" incident. Steven was in another part of the room and Connie had been sitting, waiting for him.

The room had been studying her movements and mannerisms, curious about this human that the Rose Quartz gem had brought in. It had been curious about Greg as well. This human had to be important and thus needed to be studied.

It could feel her emotions, especially regarding Steven.

It could feel her inadequacies as well. This human didn't feel worthy of the gem and wanted to prove herself to the one she ...

Love. That was the emotion that both of the humans had felt when coming in the room.

Such a strange emotion. It was a nice one, but strange.

The room did not need Future Vision to know that its master would wind up hurt by this emotion. Rose had come in one time, tearful, because she had found a human who she truly loved and did not want to think about losing.

This could happen again with the new bearer of the gem.

It began to get a feel for this human. It might need to reproduce her one day, as it had Greg on occasion.

It knew, from that time, that Connie would never have wanted Steven to feel like this. She would have wanted Steven to deal with this grief and move on.

Cloud Connie sighed, looking at Steven.

"I knew you were going to try to come back ... Steven you shouldn't-"

"No ... I don't want to leave! I can't leave! No one was there! No one saw what I saw!"

Cloud Connie knew.

She could piece together, from what she knew of the girl, what her final thoughts must have been.

_She had seen no other choice. Steven was half human. There was an infintessimal chance that he would be able to block the shield. An even smaller chance that he would regenerate._

_Steven was the most important thing in the universe. She was not._

_She could almost feel what Connie felt, pushing the horrified Steven out of the way as he struggled, in vain, to summon a bubble. Connie knew what could happen. She knew immediately that she would not be quick enough to escape the drill as well. She knew she would die._

_She could see the expression on Steven's face as he watched the drill bore into her abdomen first. She could feel the pain as she was ripped apart from the inside. The knowledge that this would be her final act. An act of love and sacrifice._

_Steven's silent cry as he watched the love of his life,reduced to pieces, jamming up the drill._

_Her face, frozen in shock as she died, almost immediately, seeing Steven shaking in terror, wondering if this was even the right choice._

_What would he do now?_

_It was too late to fix this._

_She had died for him. She was gone. Truly gone._

"Even though I was not there, I know what you saw. I could piece together what she felt. She would not have wanted this, Steven."

She watched him crumble, falling to his knees. His body shook with sobs as he curled in on himself.

"No ... Please just let me have this ..." he whimpered. "I could have saved her. I could have done something ..."

Cloud Connie smiled sadly and kneeled next to him.

"Steven, it's in the past. You need to focus on the future. That's what she would have wanted. She would have wanted you to forgive and just remember the wonderful memories you have of her."

"But those memories hurt now ... so many things we could have done. We were going to have a life after Yellow Diamond ... We had talked about it! It's like a part of me has died ... In a way, that's true ... Stevonnie ..."

Steven shook with sobs again and Cloud Connie sighed sadly. Yes, the fusion between the two of them. They were gone now. The pain of losing such a close partner was painful for a gem anyway. It had to be even worse for a human.

She stroked his hair, hoping to calm the hybrid down.

Steven sat hunched over, unresponsive, next to her, the only sound escaping his lips were the occasional sobs.

Cloud Connie embraced him, knowing that she needed to stay in the room just a little bit longer.

This was the sight that welcomed the gems when they returned to the room. Amethyst braced herself for Pearl's chastizement, Garnet braced herself for holding Pearl back, and Pearl froze, unsure of what to do. Peridot watched the three. She had been safe before but was now worried that this would end it. They would be reminded of the pain she put them through and they would shatter her.

She felt Garnet's hand on her shoulder.

"We need to leave them here for now," Garnet started. "I think he's going to be able to heal now."

Pearl began to protest, but Garnet simply looked at her.

"We can make sure that his physical needs are met, but he's starting to accept reality. He knows now. We can start work on destroying the Cluster now and when he's ready, he'll rejoin us."

The three Crystal Gems made their way back to the vein that led out of the room, Peridot in tow. The green gem looked back to see Cloud Connie hold Steven even tighter. She didn't understand the emotion he went through, but she did understand one thing.

Guilt.

She wanted to go apologize, but was pulled away before she could even try.

Steven stayed, curled up, for another hour before he finally looked back up at Cloud Connie.

"Can you help me remember the good times, at least?" The demi-gem finally asked.

Cloud Connie smiled and gently stroked his cheek.

"Whatever you want."

Peridot sat in the bathroom, curled up by the tub. The gems had placed her in there to keep an eye on her. She couldn't get the images she had seen out of her head. Connie's death ... The Cloud Connie ... Steven curled into a ball.

She had never truly hated any of them. She just needed to get her job done. Then she needed to go home. When that was no longer an option, she just needed to survive.

Steven had always been so cheerful and hesitant to fight her every time that they had met. He was merciful and seemed to be kind and willing to come to an agreement, even during those few encounters. She wondered if it was a human trait or a Rose Quartz trait. She had never met one before. They were something of legend on Homeworld. Something whispered about and kept secret.

If this was a Rose Quartz trait, then she wished that they were more common.

If it was a human trait, then maybe this planet was worth something after all.

She worried that she had ruined her chances at ever learning about it, after seeing Steven's crumbled state.

The door creaked open. Peridot looked up to see Garnet standing in the doorway. The fusion walked over to her and leaned against the sink. Peridot curled up tighter.

"Thank you," she said, simply.

"Why?" Peridot asked, refusing to look at her.

"For being honest with us. Pearl still wants to shatter you, but I told her to wait. To rethink it after we destroy the cluster. I know that you didn't mean to harm anyone. We've all been there. Scared, unsure of how to escape. I also know that there isn't a possible outcome that ends in you being shattered and the rest of us surviving."

Peridot looked up at her.

"The Sapphire ... So that's what they are for," she thought aloud.

Garnet chuckled sadly.

"There had been a few different possibilties over the years that I've seen. The further away one got, the closer this one became. What would have happened if we had caught you sooner? Would you have become one of us? Would you have betrayed us anyway?"

"Would Connie still be alive?"

Garnet grimaced at Peridot's question.

"Undoubtedly."

Peridot curled up again.

"But, that is now the past ... We need to focus on the future and maybe get you home."

"They won't take me back. I'll just be shattered and repurposed. I'll be committing high treason when we destroy the cluster," Peridot sighed. "There's no reason for me to go back."

Garnet nodded.

"Well, we will cross that bridge when we come to it, I suppose."

Garnet left the bathroom, closing the door behind her softly. Peridot continued to contemplate everything. What would things have been like in those other timelines that Garnet was talking about. What could have happened?

She supposed it could have been great. Much better than this existence at least.

Steven had occasionally come out of the room to use the bathroom or eat, but mostly kept to himself, returning often. His countenance was not much better, and Pearl often protested letting him stay in there, but Garnet insisted he needed it now.

Whenever he returned, Cloud Connie was there, either with a picnic spread or a book, waiting for him. He would smile sadly and join her. At nights, he would lay close to her and imagine what could have been, knowing that it would never happen now.

But he could live it out in here when he needed to.

 


	5. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True acceptance takes a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the last chapter of Clouds. I tried to make this at least happy-ish. It is more "ish". I am so, so, sorry in advance.  
> Warning: I made myself cry while writing this chapter.  
> Feel free to review. This is a definite end to this fic (there are no plans to write anything more for this one).   
> Thank you for all of the favorites, likes, comments, kudos, and reviews. I have really enjoyed this one, even if it is quite the downer.  
> -FourFaces

The gems had nearly finished construction on a new drill. It was a grueling two months, but they were almost done. Peridot watched as the Crystal Gems congratulated each other, knowing that she had outlived her usefulness. Yes, Garnet had said that she might be spared, but surely that was just to get her to help with defeating the cluster.

She wanted to try and find Steven, but he was still in Rose's Room. She wanted to apologize to him. At first, it had been in a final attempt to save herself, but now she was truly sorry. When she was with the gems, she noticed the difference in their countenance. Less bold. Less sure of themselves. Sad.

She sat on the outskirts of the group and hoped that maybe they would accept her.

Steven and Cloud Connie sat on the bed he had made the room create. He had spent the last two months with her, reliving memories of Connie and healing, slowly. She was proud of him for coming this far, but she knew this would have to end soon.

"Steven ..."

"I know."

"It's been two months. I'm sure that they miss you too."

Steven nodded and then looked at her.

"What would our future have been? I know I've been focusing on the past ... but what could it have been?"

Cloud Connie chuckled sadly.

"I'm not Garnet. I can't see futures. Only what you think of and want."

Steven nodded and looked at his feet before returning his gaze to her. He smiled sadly and then thought of who he could be in the future.

Cloud Connie watched as Steven's gem glowed, enveloping him in light as he aged. Standing in place of the teen that had been sitting on the bed with the Cloud Connie was an older Steven, about 20. He was taller, sturdier, his jaw more defined, and his curly hair was a little bit shorter.

"I want to pretend, just a little longer," he whispered.

She smiled and obliged, allowing the room to change her as well.

Steven smiled, sadly, seeing what Connie could have become. He embraced her and cried. She gently rubbed circles on his back.

"It's alright, Steven. I'm here."

"Room ... I want a house."

The room created a small house, like what Steven had seen in movies. Not too big, not too small. Yellow siding, brick roof, pink door ...

"And lion ..."

The room recreated his pet who had been away since ...

"And a ring ..."

A ring box appeared in his hand. He opened it, kneeling in front of the recreation of his love who sadly smiled.

"Connie Maheswaran ... You're the master of my universe and I want you to be a part of it forever ..."

Peridot made her way to the Temple, away from the gems. She couldn't take the suspense anymore. They didn't need her right now anyway.

She walked into the Beach House portion and turned to see the picture of Rose Quartz over the door. The serene expression on her face filled her with emotions that she was still figuring out.

"Was this planet truly worth it?" She asked the picture.

Of course, the picture had no answer for the green gem. She sat down on the ground in front of it and stared up.

Once the Cluster was destroyed, she would have to face judgement. She already knew what Homeworld's would be. She was certain of what the Crystal Gems would do to her.

Steven was still in that room so she may never get to apologize. She wasn't even sure why they let him stay in there, but she wasn't going to question the gems when they were being merciful to her.

"I figured you would have come in here," she heard a gentle voie say. She looked up to see Garnet. "Come with me. We need to get a gem to power the drill."

Peridot nodded and followed Garnet into the Burning Room.

She could see Garnet's shoulders droop as they looked about the room for a gem to harvest.

"I don't like doing this," she started, "but it has to be done ..."

Peridot nodded and looked up at the glittering gems. She could feel the corruption seeping off of them. It was terrifying and horrible, knowing the pain that they were in.

This would be a mercy killing, really.

Garnet pulled down a large bluish green gem in a large, pink bubble.

"This one is one that Steven bubbled. She can't even make a physical form anymore. She has to take over objects to communicate. She will work well with the drill, especially if it is to save us."

Peridot nodded and began to follow her.

"Will Steven forgive me?" she asked.

Garnet stopped and looked at the gem.

"Most likely. He is still healing. This pain isn't as easy to fix as damage to one's physical form. He may never fully heal from this," Garnet replied. "But humans never have enough time to heal from loss."

Peridot nodded. She thought of what could have been, again. That human that Steven had loved seemed to be such a wonderful person. She could have formed an alliance with her. Steven could have thought of her as a worthy addition to the team.

Instead, she had ruined it all.

Steven and Cloud Connie sat on the couch in their home, watching the small child that played with the pink lion in front of them. Her brown hair covered the tiny pink gem on her forehead and her light, brown face was permanently laughing.

Steven gently set his head on her shoulder, this was all he had wanted. A family. With Connie.

The room had reproduced the Crystal Gems on occasion for him, visiting with them, as well as his father (who had visited once outside of the room and since then had given Steven time to heal as well, knowing what he was going through). There were no battles, no missions. Just peace and stability. He had sometimes wanted to be a normal child with a normal life, and now he had that with his reproduction of Connie.

"I wish I could have this forever," he whispered. "Thank you so much."

Cloud Connie smiled sadly.

"Are you ready yet?" She asked. "I'm sure that the gems need you ..."

"Just a little longer," he whispered.

Drilling deep into the earth was the easy part. The hard part was taking apart the cluster.

The pressures were getting to each of the gems, and they were all secretly happy that Steven was still in Rose's Room. This would have literally crushed him. Garnet was the main heavy hitter for taking apart the cluster, and Pearl and Amethyst worked to bubble each shard as they tore into it. Peridot watched, helplessly wishing she had something to contribute to help

They were almost finished with the cluster when everything began shaking.

"Just bubble the rest!" Garnet cried out. "It's small enough now, we can finish when we get back to the Temple! Get to the drill!"

Peridot mused about staying behind, but was grabbed before she could make that decision. She looked to see who grabbed her and saw the strong arms of the tiny Amethyst, wrapped protectively around her.

_Huh._

As they piloted their way back, Peridot watched the rest of the gems in silence. There were no congratulations, no cheers. Just silence.

_They must have known a lot of the gems used in the cluster._

They arrived back at the Temple and Garnet proceeded to work to clean up the beach. The rest of the gems pitched in and soon there was no evidence of a hole to the center of the Earth being dug.

They walked into the Beach House, Peridot in tow, and waited outside the door to Rose's Room in silence.

They sat on the porch, watching the waves of the ocean lap against the shore.

Steven didn't want to leave, but he knew he had to. He wanted to grow old with Cloud Connie in here. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her after just seeing the snippets of what could have been.

“It's time, Steven. You know that it is time.”

Steven nodded, sadly and let himself become a teen again. He looked over at Cloud Connie who was as he last remembered her. She smiled sadly and held him close.

“I'll still be here if you need me, Steven. They need you right now too.”

Steven nodded and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

She kissed his cheek lightly and watched as he turned to poof away the constructs in the room. He then turned and summoned the door out.

He gave one more look at Cloud Connie who smiled and waved before disappearing as well.

As he stepped out of the room, he could see the gems waiting for him. Amethyst was snoozing on the couch, Pearl was sipping tea, Garnet was staring ahead (possibly into the future) and Peridot sat, curled in on herself.

_Peridot?_

Pearl was the first to notice him. She smiled and walked over to him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“How are you feeling, Steven?”

“Better,” he whispered. “I don't know if it will truly go away, but I feel … better.”

Peridot turned and saw him. She stood and shuffled over.

“Um … Steven. I ...” she began. “I'm not good with this, but I wanted to apologize for what happened. It was an accident. I didn't mean to harm anyone. I was just ...”

Steven watched the green gem shiver with terror as she looked away from him. He wanted to be angry with her, he really did. But he couldn't find it in himself anymore to hate her. He gently pulled her in for a hug.

“I know,” he started. “And while it still hurts, I understand ...”

The team sat in silence, Steven continuing to hold the sobbing Peridot in his arms.

It was over a century later when Steven returned to the room. Peridot had joined the Crystal Gems and was their greatest ally until she had been shattered by Malachite. She was shattered protecting Steven, vowing that she would never let any harm come to him. Her shards remained bubbled in the burning room until they could find a way to heal her.

Greg had passed on, living a long and happy life, watching his son grow into the gem warrior that he had known he would become. It seemed being in such close proximity to Steven's gem had slowed his aging, but not stopped it completely. He had passed away in his sleep while Steven and the gems stayed by his side.

Malachite had been separated after Peridot's shattering and Japser and Lapis had formed an uneasy truce with the gems. Slowly, the pair grew to trust the entire team and eventually, they became family as well.

They waited for Homeworld to attack. They never did. Instead, the gems found themselves still dedicated to protecting humanity from the fallout of the first war with Homeworld.

Steven was old now. Much older than a human should have lived to. The gems had watched him age and wished they could stop it. Jasper had tried to shake him out of it, but Garnet had been quick to tell her it wouldn't work (she knew, she tried).

One evening, the gems sat around as Steven slept on the recliner that they had gotten for him. It was easier for him to sleep on the main level of the Beach House now. They watched as he woke with a start and then rose up. He was frail now, no longer as sturdy as he had been as a youth. His grey hair was whispy now, almost completely gone. He smiled at the gems and then wordlessly walked over to the Temple door. His gem glowed bright.

“I'll just be a minute,” he smiled. “Goodbye for now, everyone.”

Garnet walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. She smiled sadly and lowered her visor. He saw all three eyes looking at him, rimmed with tears.

“We are all so proud of you, Steven. Tell her hello for us,” she smiled.

The other gems joined in and gently hugged the demi-gem one more time before he retreated into Rose's room.

They all could swear they saw Connie standing there inside, aged to match Steven. She looked up at the gems and smiled sadly. They all knew that this was the last time they would see either of them.

“Hello, Connie,” he smiled as he walked in.

“I've been waiting for you,” Cloud Connie smiled sadly.

They met and embraced as the door to Rose's Room closed once more.

 

 


End file.
